I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize