he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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