I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I love having hate sex.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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