So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
