They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
