Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
