we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
