also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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