Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize