and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
