Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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