my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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