my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
smell my finger.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
