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my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
