oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
pray to the hookup gods
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
