this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
