you guys were way drunker than both of me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
