you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
