and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
