He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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