Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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