You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
