can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
