she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
