I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
