so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
