The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
