Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
