She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize