Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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