Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize