Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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