hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I could make wine with my vomit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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