One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize