Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
