Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
