I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
