i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
