so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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