I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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