I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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