covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
