considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
