i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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