Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
