I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
