Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

Well... I doubt that.

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(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

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(419): View more from Ohio

I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?

(937): View more from Ohio

Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.

(419): View more from Ohio

Is that considered a cock block?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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(408): View more from California

You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt

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(204): View more from Manitoba

There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"

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(607): View more from New York

I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"

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