And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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