I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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