I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
