I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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