8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
my liver is dry heaving
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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