yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
