That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
