He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
