I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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