all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
