somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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