At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
