i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
