do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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