i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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