I wish you could order shots online.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
