I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
